Bad Deal

I was a fan of the World Series of Poker for several years. Loved the way different players would play their hands - each with a unique strategy that was constantly changing, or they risked being "read" by their opponents. Then came the costumes - glasses, hoodies, drawn-down hats - to hide any outward clues that their competitors may pick up on. I was never a poker player, but I figured that by watching TV, I could pull this off. So at one of my team meetings in Palm Springs, I decided to have poker night. I was ready to bluff my way through these novices - great plan, poor execution, as I went "all in" and got cleaned out in the second hand! You all know I don't bluff - simple black & white - so poker doesn't serve me well.

A cancer diagnosis is like that poker game. Everyone plays their cards different from the next - some aggressively, some in fear of losing, others with an eye on how far they last in the game. There isn't one style that determines the winner or loser, it's simply a matter of preference how you choose to play the game. No right way, no wrong way. Those spectators watching the poker tournament, like the family & friends of cancer patients, have their opinions of how the game should be played. I could pay for my treatment in cash if I had a nickel for every time someone told me to "slow down", "be careful", "take it easy". Perhaps that's would be your style in dealing with cancer, which I respect, but I don't share your vision for cancer treatment. I'm maintaining as normal a life as I can, hoping to eradicate cancer from my body by not signaling that anything is different. So far, that plan seems to be working for me. Abraham Lincoln had an appropriate quote "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Live today!

I've dealt with my diagnosis asking for no "sorrys" and no tears. These are normal responses when friends find out about my situation, but your support is what we really need. And you're always ready to offer it, so start there in lieu of "sorry". I had a chance to test this on Sat when a fellow patroller told me his doctor suspected leukemia. He is waiting anxiously for the final results. Instead of "sorry", I put my arm around him and shared my experience thus far. I voiced my support in any way needed, like many of you have done for me. I know how that made me feel, I hope it worked the same for him. But it's his hand to play, so I respect the way he deals with it. I'll still be here to support him.

 

My daily devotional had an interesting bible passage today from Psalm 69, "I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched". Unfortunately, my throat is parched from radiation (so far the only side effect), not from crying out. My prayers have been for others, many who like me have been afflicted with cancer, and other life-altering needs. God knows my needs, as most of you have let him know and have asked on my behalf. If I got a bad deal, at least I know I have an ace in the hole!