Mixed Feelings

Just walked into the house - a full 8 days after leaving for my surgery. Had this date clearly noted on the calendar - said "Surgery done, hospital recovery complete". It had a small footnote..."cancer free". That's how big this day was supposed to be for me, like cresting a long hill climb to the view of a sweet singletrack decent. In mountain bike parlance, a tough effort followed by an epic downhill ride! That's what I had in mind for today, a celebration of sorts that all the hard effort was behind me, and now I just had to be patient while my body got back to shape. It wasn't the fact that the pathological results are still due, so I can't honestly conclude "cancer free" yet, but I couldn't muster the excitement of the day.

You see, I received a message this morning from my very good friend that his wife was diagnosed with an inoperable cancerous tumor adjacent to her brain - 40, great lady, strong physical shape, loving family, just relocated to be near more family - DAMN! This wasn't part of their plan or on the radar. Cancer doesn't discriminate - it wants everyone. I've got to get beyond the initial punch in the gut, like I'm sure they have experienced this week, and then become a true friend and offer them the same love, care and prayers they offered in my support. But I know firsthand that their resolve will be much stronger than mine and I will be there with them through it. I never set out to speak 'firsthand' about cancer, but if I can help just one person know with a strong support group, good research on your own, a great medical team and through God's mercy, there is hope for ANYTHING. God thinks on a much larger plane that we do, so we can't think so limited when there is always hope.

On a positive note, the theme that I was prepared to center my day around, my 7-day stay in the hospital following my 10-hour surgery was very productive. Despite my 12 tubes/wires, I was up and walking the day after surgery. The medical staff was so supportive and caring, and each day we made progress together until all of the tubes, except my feeding tube, were gone. On day 1, I was in ICU doing almost nothing on my own, relying solely on my doctors and nurses to function. Sleeping was an impossibility with the twice/thrice-hourly interruptions around the clock. As the days went by, the tubes got less, and I was doing much more on my own, including walking the shine off the floor tiles. By the end, I was back to independence and ready to get out of the hospital to continue my recovery, which happened a few hours ago. 

Thanks to those who respected my wishes of waiting until I arrived home before visiting. My voice is still rough, but having this singular focus allowed me to really maximize my time in the hospital with the medical staff. I learned a lot about me and about my cancer, in this limited- distraction environment. My road to recovery is far from over, but I like where I'm at. I've now got to help a friend get through this. Thanks for all you've done for me!!